I didn’t speak to my father much by 2011, when Margaret went to Cadet Camp. I tried, as well as I could, to be a good daughter, but our conversations had always felt off, even when I was young. I remember one night, when I was still at home, around age 14 or 15, and… Read More Emblem of Our House: Cadet
I didn’t know Margaret had a best friend. I’d known for a while that big events pull people out of crevices. I found myself worried about people showing up who hadn’t known her, not really, reaching out to leach off of the pain. There’s something about hubbub that functions like fire, that turns people into… Read More Emblem of Our House: Friends
The anxiety crawled up my throat from my stomach. People were looking at her on the train. He wasn’t her baby, and she was only 12. I knew there was no way that the baby was hers, of course, but she was young, and she was looking at him with tenderness and wearing him in… Read More Emblem of Our House: Family
The shock hits first; the grief, second. The shock I could handle. I’d experienced that before. Adrenaline was easy once there are pre-programmed responses, once a body has experienced a situation a few times. Hitting the waves isn’t too bad after that. I took care of my responsibilities, contacting the people who needed to know… Read More Emblem of Our House: Villain
Three years ago, at age 55, Terry Fox stepped into her very own house. She hadn’t thought it was possible. She’d always wanted a home, especially after growing up in the housing projects of Coney Island. “It just seemed like people in houses were more stable and happier and better adjusted,” she explained. “It’s like… Read More Houses and homes
Nothing bad happens when I’m making art. I was a dancer first, at age 3, enrolled at a studio in Brooklyn. I danced until I was 11. By then, we’d lived in Pennsylvania for two years. I studied ballet, jazz, and tap. We’d been working really hard on recital pieces when Schlep learned that the… Read More Emblem of Our House: Art
The morning she died, I was tired. I woke up late that day. I didn’t have to go to the farm. I had Reggie, a small Yorkie I was dogsitting. I had a dentist appointment that afternoon. I’d finally gotten financially to a point where I could afford to go every six months. I went… Read More Emblem of Our House: Gone
There is quite the mixture of love and fear mixed into most of my memories. There’s the day I was so excited for the princess party that my mom had planned. We had princess outfits and a pig made from meatloaf. We were real princesses. I remember our friends starting to arrive, and then I… Read More Emblem of Our House: Aquarium
The week of her death, I was already struggling with my faith. I’d had questions for a long time. I’d gone through the motions of church for a while. Suddenly, I was 30, then 31, and I felt pretty damaged. I was divorced. I couldn’t get rid of the extra weight I’d packed on during… Read More Emblem of Our House: Faith
I spent the summer between my freshman and sophomore years at college. I’d gotten a job in the admissions office for the evening programs, geared towards folks with 9-5 commitments. I wasn’t very good at calling people, and I rarely got anyone on the phone, but it was a job, and, by that point, there… Read More Emblem of Our House: Car