I can’t stop thinking about death and justice. It’s everywhere now, things I used to justify and explain away so easily. Well, if he didn’t resist (now I understand the profound fear and panic). Well, she seemed to be a bad person (someone’s past decisions do not provide a pass for a violent murder, with… Read More Emblem of Our House: Justice
I didn’t know Margaret had a best friend. I’d known for a while that big events pull people out of crevices. I found myself worried about people showing up who hadn’t known her, not really, reaching out to leach off of the pain. There’s something about hubbub that functions like fire, that turns people into… Read More Emblem of Our House: Friends
The anxiety crawled up my throat from my stomach. People were looking at her on the train. He wasn’t her baby, and she was only 12. I knew there was no way that the baby was hers, of course, but she was young, and she was looking at him with tenderness and wearing him in… Read More Emblem of Our House: Family
The shock hits first; the grief, second. The shock I could handle. I’d experienced that before. Adrenaline was easy once there are pre-programmed responses, once a body has experienced a situation a few times. Hitting the waves isn’t too bad after that. I took care of my responsibilities, contacting the people who needed to know… Read More Emblem of Our House: Villain
The morning she died, I was tired. I woke up late that day. I didn’t have to go to the farm. I had Reggie, a small Yorkie I was dogsitting. I had a dentist appointment that afternoon. I’d finally gotten financially to a point where I could afford to go every six months. I went… Read More Emblem of Our House: Gone
There is quite the mixture of love and fear mixed into most of my memories. There’s the day I was so excited for the princess party that my mom had planned. We had princess outfits and a pig made from meatloaf. We were real princesses. I remember our friends starting to arrive, and then I… Read More Emblem of Our House: Aquarium
I spent the summer between my freshman and sophomore years at college. I’d gotten a job in the admissions office for the evening programs, geared towards folks with 9-5 commitments. I wasn’t very good at calling people, and I rarely got anyone on the phone, but it was a job, and, by that point, there… Read More Emblem of Our House: Car
The guilt could kill me if I let it. The first overwhelming crush of guilt came for me when I was 18. I’d left home forever, traveling 2,000 miles away to attend college in northern California. Before I left, I took each of my youngest siblings out for dinner, just one-on-one, and we talked about… Read More Emblem of Our House: Guilt